Category: Guests
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I Will Know the Economy is Better When…
…people order something to drink other than water. …men don’t share one ice tea. …women don’t split a cup of soup. …four adults don’t split two entrees and then ask for four separate checks. You will hear it here, first.
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Easy Days, Peaceful Nights
Three firsts this week: –A customer got very, very angry with me and slammed money on the counter, spitting out the words in her heavy French accent, “This is for you, even though it was all terrible. Terrible!” –I won two out of three games of bowling. Understand, I haven’t bowled in years, and before…
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A Walk in the Weeds
An online writer contacted me (and I assume everyone else blogging about restaurants) and asked for examples of horrendous restaurant patrons. I try to stay away from writing about such aspects of the business because Waiter Rant captured them best back in the day, and it is too easy to whine on and on about…
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Fortune’s Quarter
I felt like crap–achy, stuffy head, cough. I had not been sick in years, even working so closely with the public as I have in various restaurants. Not a sniffle, not a thing. Until now. “He will think I am bailing again for the 95th time,” I complained to my co-worker. “But I really don’t…
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Just Like Me
“I need a butter knife, said Upset Waitress as she rummaged through my kitchen drawer, “In case I have to break into my house. I forgot my keys and don’t know if my husband left the house unlocked.” It’s weird down here–folks rarely lock anything. She paused as she looked at the tarnished silver handles…
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Four Easy Weeks
“Are you a local?” asks a customer who is desperate for me to say yes, because she and her husband and the other couple with whom she is traveling are desperate for a truly local experience at my restaurant. Yes, I am, I tell her. “Oh, how wonderful!” she exclaims. “I told you she had…
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Such a Small Town
I think I had 9 tickets going at once at one point yesterday. I know all but two tables were full and I was on my own. Everyone got fed. I didn’t get too weeded. No one complained. So I guess I am getting the hang of this. Then, while out on a date last…
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Home Work
“He said you seemed like you were kinda slow ‘up here,’” laughed Upset Waitress, pointing to her temple. “What? You mean because…” “Because he thinks you are a total moron–an idiot,” she laughed again. Of course, he came in again today. He comes in every day. He is 70 and looks and acts like someone…
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First Day
“I could never be a waitress,” laughed a woman who watched me slop coffee and diet coke over the tray I was close to tipping over completely. “I mean look at her!” I was standing right there while she talked about me as if I was a pathetic creature who couldn’t possibly comprehend what she…
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Will You Marry Me?
A great guy asked me to marry him today. Too bad I didn’t know him. He is one of our sort-of regulars at lunch. I say sort-of, because he only comes in when he is part of a large corporate luncheon that happens every so often at my restaurant. Actually, I didn’t really remember him…