Category: Beloved Co-workers
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Just Like Me
“I need a butter knife, said Upset Waitress as she rummaged through my kitchen drawer, “In case I have to break into my house. I forgot my keys and don’t know if my husband left the house unlocked.” It’s weird down here–folks rarely lock anything. She paused as she looked at the tarnished silver handles…
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Four Easy Weeks
“Are you a local?” asks a customer who is desperate for me to say yes, because she and her husband and the other couple with whom she is traveling are desperate for a truly local experience at my restaurant. Yes, I am, I tell her. “Oh, how wonderful!” she exclaims. “I told you she had…
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Such a Small Town
I think I had 9 tickets going at once at one point yesterday. I know all but two tables were full and I was on my own. Everyone got fed. I didn’t get too weeded. No one complained. So I guess I am getting the hang of this. Then, while out on a date last…
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In Appreciation
Today is Upset Waitress‘s last day at our restaurant. I don’t know whether to hug her or slap her. After all, she’s the one who convinced this gal to travel south and enjoy the quiet Keys life for the season. And now she’s leaving me to stumble around on my own. She says I’ll be…
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Homesick
I haven’t missed an inauguration in D.C. since I was…I don’t know, born maybe. In fact, I haven’t missed much in D.C. when Mall crowd numbers are counted. I remember only that I was very young when my stepfather drove my siblings and me downtown and ferried us up to his hotel’s rooftop so that…
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Home Work
“He said you seemed like you were kinda slow ‘up here,’” laughed Upset Waitress, pointing to her temple. “What? You mean because…” “Because he thinks you are a total moron–an idiot,” she laughed again. Of course, he came in again today. He comes in every day. He is 70 and looks and acts like someone…
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Beyond Tired
Dear servers I managed in D.C. and Fort Lauderdale: I double and triple sat you all the time. Many apologies. I begged you to stay late and take the last table that, in the end, only left a 10 percent tip. Many thanks. I didn’t help pre-set and pre-bus tables enough. Many thanks, again, for…
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First Day
“I could never be a waitress,” laughed a woman who watched me slop coffee and diet coke over the tray I was close to tipping over completely. “I mean look at her!” I was standing right there while she talked about me as if I was a pathetic creature who couldn’t possibly comprehend what she…
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Bye Bye 2008
A woman in my luxury apartment complex walks her dog every night at the same time. I know her. She is crazy. Certifiable. Insane. My day-at-a-time boy would tell you I am insane, but I would tell you it is not the same type of insanity. The woman in my complex is very alone. She…
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The Princess and the Key to the House
I am a princess. I know this, and I am no longer ashamed to admit this annoying fact about myself. Upset Waitress thought she knew this, too, until she spent two days helping me look at places to live in the Keys. “Oh my God, you really are a princessa, aren’t you? A total, f—ing…