In Appreciation

Today is Upset Waitress‘s last day at our restaurant. I don’t know whether to hug her or slap her. After all, she’s the one who convinced this gal to travel south and enjoy the quiet Keys life for the season. And now she’s leaving me to stumble around on my own.

She says I’ll be better off without her barking at me every second. I’m not so sure. Were it not for UW, I wouldn’t know:

–how to write diner lingo on tickets;

–how to yell at customers when I am behind the line and tell them to sit the hell down and have them thank me later with a huge tip;

–how to sense when my food is up;

–how to let a table sit for more than two seconds and take a drink and food order at once;

–how to enjoy Captain and Coke during the last half hour of our shift;

–how to make one cigarette last until 3:30 p.m. by putting it out and relighting it just so (we are quitting as of Monday, by the way);

–how to tell horrible customers that I don’t think I can provide them with the kind of service they expect and that maybe they should eat elsewhere;

–how to appreciate nice customers who don’t tip too well because they didn’t verbally abuse anyone–including other customers sitting at a table they wanted;

–how to keep an even temper (haha UW);

–how to give new meaning to the phrase “turn and burn;”

–how to appreciate working as a waitress in a complete dive because the food is good and the money’s not bad.

I don’t know what to do for UW on this last day. I know I’ll let her smoke all my cigarettes. I am pretty sure we are drinking our dinner tonight. But how do I thank someone who has taken me from the glitter and glamour of fine dining in Fort Lauderdale and plunked me amidst no-see-ems and Palmetto bugs the size of cats as I sling over-easy eggs to those I can now refer to as “customers” instead of “guests”?

I baked her a gluten-free cake that she swears will taste awful. I mean, isn’t that what you do for co-workers on their last day–bring in a cake? Hell, I’ll just dump a bottle of rum over it, call it a floater, and she’ll scarf it right down.

Well, I guess it’s bye bye, UW. Thanks for, um, everything. Okay, forget the thanks. Just don’t forget me my pain-in-the-ass-chain-smoking Keys friend. You’re the only reason I landed here. Don’t make me follow you to your next gig!







7 responses to “In Appreciation”

  1. upset waitress Avatar

    How unusual to be the first commenter on your blog. I will miss you a lot , especially til happy hour. Anyway, thanks for the cake. Now where did I leave it at?

  2. Mike Avatar

    Good luck RG, I think the adventure (and a new tap of inspiration and creativity) is just beginning here….

  3. JoeInVegas Avatar

    Wait – she brought you down there and now is leaving? The area or just the restaurant? So, you came in as her replacement, ah well, you’ll make new friends, even if it is a small town.

  4. Restaurant Gal Avatar
    Restaurant Gal

    UW–I sold pieces of it at lunch today–$4.95 a slice.

    Mike–It’ll all be fine, or I’ll terrorize UW incessantly.

    JoeinVegas–She’s still around to be my drinking buddy. Just not working together any longer.

  5. Jenni Avatar

    that sucks that you wont be work buddies… but not too bad since you will still hang out …n.

    but what I really wanted to say was >>>HEY> RG>>> did you happen to notice all that you’ve learned since you landed in that dive??

    wowsers… I knew you’d pick it all up, and quick… and now you even have a list of all the things you’ve learned! =)

  6. Restaurant Gal Avatar
    Restaurant Gal

    jenni–All good. We will hang out all the time, I know it. Um, I have forged 1435 new pathways in my feeble brain, trust me.

  7. Kim Ayres Avatar

    They reckon the best way to stave off dementia is to constantly be learning new things 🙂