Best South Florida Lines of 2007

“You must be a real loser if you’re hanging out here all night.”

This little ditty from the charming chap from Estonia who was miffed when my friend and I turned down his invitation to attend “a sex party with lots of sex, yes?” with him.

“Thank you so much for accepting this dance with me. My 90-year-old wife is asleep in bed upstairs in our apartment.”

Said with a smile by a very nice gentleman at my friend’s grandmother’s club, where she had taken us for dinner.

“What, I’m not good enough for you to talk to?”

Oh dear, this one was uttered by two different young men over the past two weeks. Not sure what that means, but it was annoying both times.

“He’s actually a really nice guy when he doesn’t drink. I mean he has seizures and diabetes and all, so he really shouldn’t.”

Spoken by the best friend of someone who had suddenly left the table, never to return again that evening. Wow, and for some reason I just wasn’t interested in a follow-up fix-up with the guy.

“So, I mean, will you be my booty call?”

Who can forget this little gem from the “I’m in sales but I used to work for the Pentagon” guy at the Elbo Room on my birthday?

“I just want to have a drink with you, not marry you!”

To which I thought to myself, but probably should have said aloud, “Well, that’s good, because I don’t want to marry you OR have a drink with you.”

“I find people in Miami are at either the top of the ladder or at the bottom of the ladder. But I find there is something peculiar about both ends.”

Spoken by my friend’s 95-year-old grandmother, who is beautiful, who is as tough as she is elegant, and who totally gets it.

Happy 2008 to all!





6 responses to “Best South Florida Lines of 2007”

  1. last one home Avatar

    that’s the kind of trouble you get into when you have the hotness

  2. rachel Avatar

    well at least the booty call guy was honest and semi-polite…lol

  3. Kim Ayres Avatar

    Just to round up your year, pop over to my place and pick up an award 🙂

  4. upset waitress Avatar

    Here’s one I hear all the time. “I can screw for 2 hours before I orgasm”….Great, you’re saying I can’t get you off in minutes? Loser! Happy New year RG. Oh, it’s supposed to get chilly tomorro 🙂

  5. Manuel Avatar


  6. Restaurant Gal Avatar
    Restaurant Gal

    Last one home–You make a girl blush!

    Rachel–Actually, he was bordering on sloppy drunk. Polite? Ha!

    Kim–I am honored! I just don’t know how to get the award logo to my site. Thank you, thank you.

    UW–I always know I can count on you for the absolutely perfect take on anything. Happy 2008 to you, and I am NOT happy about the chill in the air that’s being forecast! I am in South Florida, damn it!

    Manuel–Uh huh, you get it, too.