On Wednesday, October 14, 2009, Restaurant Gal reached an all-time high of page views–850-plus in a single day. I have no idea why. I have no idea if RG surpassed that number in prior years before I kept stats. I do know that it matters not so much. One day, 437 people peek in, and several peruse the archives; on another, 89 folks read my latest post, and no one cares a bit to peruse what was posted the week before. Again, I have no clue why.
And in many ways, I care a little; but just as much, I don’t care a lot.
For almost five years I have anonymously posted my stories, some being more personal than others, all crafted out of a labor of love for an activity–writing–that has been the one thing I have always found to be an incredible release, incredibly satisfying and absolutely as natural as breathing.
On the one hand, I envy one of the best writers and photographers out there–Kim Ayres–who posts beautifully constructed writing and equally captivating photos–all under his real name, no secrets from which to hide.
I have toyed with “outting” myself more than once over the years. Hell, back in D.C. I was very much outted one year, but it didn’t seem to matter to anyone; well, except it did matter a great deal to my employer at the time, and I faced what seemed to be a serious moral and agonizing personal choice to make–keep writing RG as I always had, or quit.
I quit. The job, that is. I would have quit, anyway. I sucked at the job I had been given as assistant manager, although I know I did well for the restaurant in other ways. Hell, I can book private dining space like no one else on this planet. Seriously.
Thus, today, as I had my third recent freelance article accepted by one of several publications in the non-blog world, I suddenly wondered, what would it be like to just post on RG as me. Just me. After all, writing this blog has kept my writing sharp and quick. Without it, how could I have pounded out these three articles in such short and concise fashion?
What would it really be like to say, “Here’s who I am, here’s where I live and work. Welcome to my written world.” Would I suddenly have 850 readers every day? Would my suddenly public blog help me to broaden my published writing credentials? Would any of that work well for me business-wise?
Of course, I had to laugh at myself at that point in my thoughts. Really? You, I said to myself, you really think the 89 people who found you last Tuesday actually wonder about who you really are? As an aside, I always ponder these seemingly important issues as I run three or four miles down the Old Road with head phones plugged into my ears blaring the best of all the music I consider “mine.”
So tell me, my 89 or 850 readers? Does it matter whether you know me or not? Would you miss me tomorrow if my anonymous writing went missing next week? Would you care less–or more–if you could put a real name to my face?
Really. I’m just curious.
Comments
60 responses to “Stats, Lies, and All the Rest”
RG – I would care! I’ve been reading your blog since 2006…I have moved across the country twice in the that time and also managed to get married but I still always check to see if you have updated your blog. I have not missed one post. You write beautifully – thank you for the years of entertainment!
Jessie–Wow, you’ve been through as many changes as I have been since 2006. Thanks for hanging in. Interesting day at work kind of prompted these musings. Anyway, I am putting an open invite to the Keys to all who want to hang out . 🙂
I would truly miss your writing and your voice if this blog went away.
Hmm, so many questions … does it matter if I know you or not? Not sure I can answer that. I don’t think I’d ever meet you in person – I rarely get to Florida and have never been down to the Keys (my uncle lives on Sanibel, that’s as far as I’ve gone). I don’t think knowing your name would change that. Does it matter if you post your name? Not to me. You have a “name” – RG – and that is good enough for me, but if you chose to use your real name, that’s fine too.
Would I miss you tomorrow if you stopped posting here? Yes. I enjoy reading your posts.
Would I care less or more about your posts if you gave your name? Neither, I think. I’m accustomed to referring to “internet friends” by whatever name they give, so I don’t think knowing your real name would change that. You might still be RG to me!
RG, It doesn’t matter to me what name you write under–just don’t stop writing your blog. I love it and look forward to checking it every day. When you haven’t posted I always have this silent hope that it isn’t for good.
Margaret–Not threatening to stop. Just pondering the bigger picture.
zlionsfan–The internet is so strange, isn’t it? Thank you for reading. Really.
Sarah DeSpain–Every post, I have to confess, is “for good” of late. Trust me, this is not a shameless plea for reassurance. Just looking to the Internet for the meaning of whatever. Thank you so much for reading.
rg, i would miss your blog. i have been reading for several years, and i am always looking forward to your next post. and no, knowing your real name would not change a thing.
RG- I too have read your blog for what seems like forever. I would be interested in reading other stuff that you write and can only do that if i know your real name. It is definitely an interesting quandry…there are very few people in my real life who know that I blog because I sort of like the ambiguity of it! Good luck with your decision..
RG — No, I don’t want to know who you are. Not knowing allows me to imagine who you are — a far greater advantage than knowing that Maggie Smythson of Carlisle, Florida wrote material that I find intriguing.
Think about it. Wasn’t radio more interesting than television? Why — the imagination was in play, and always generates a more interesting backstory than the bare facts.
Let your paid gigs take care of themselves — leave your blogging to my inner appreciation.
I would miss your blog! I don’t mind not knowing who you are, I just love your writing style & the stories you tell.
Well, we go back a few years together with the blogs – you were the very first person to guest post on my blog, and yours was the very first blog I guest posted on, 3 or 4 years ago.
I’ve read every post you’ve written, and commented on most of them. I’ve followed you and your self doubts from DC to various places around Florida, in and out of a range of different extablishments.
I continue to read, partly because I now consider you a good friend, and partly because you’re a damn good writer.
If you stopped blogging, of course I would miss it.
Would it make any difference if you weren’t anonymous? Not to me. I can see arguments both ways – on the one hand plenty of people have been fired from jobs because their bosses didn’t like what they read in their blogs – yet on the other, if you re-establishing a writing career, then showing you have a well established blog with followers makes you more desirable to potential publishers.
As for the number of followers, because of the Blogs of Note thing that happened to me in September last year, I experienced going from 50 visits a day to 5,000 for 3 days, which then dropped to about 1,000 and day for 2 weeks or so, and then (once I’d dropped off the front page of Blogs of Note), it dropped back to a couple of hundred. Sometimes I have less than 50.
How much difference did it make? Well, it looks impressive that I have 926 followers, even if 875 of them haven’t been back in a year. And for a short while I panicked about having to live up to my own fame. But actually, it ends up making no difference at all.
I think the biggest reason (beyond your fans) for keeping your blog going is what you mentioned in the post – writing regularly keeps your writing sharp, enabling you to whack out concise, interesting and well composed articles with relative ease.
I hope you keep blogging for many years to come, with or without your real name
Kim 🙂
I’d very much miss your blog and the personal point of view you bring to the everyday life of someone meeting people and opening up their lives for us to see. I don’t think you could write so personally with such feeling if you were not anonymous.
I would definitely miss you, RG. You’re living adventures I simply can’t in this stage of my own life, and I’ve come to view you as my alternate universe. As for outing yourself, it might make sense in light of your burgeoning freelance career since you’ve got an entire body of work written and ready for review. And why the heck didn’t you let us know you were seeing other readers, huh??? I feel so cheated… 😉
I too have been reading your blog for years. I feel like you are a good friend who now lives across the country. I live in California.
I read your blog through a news reader and therefore rarely every actually visit your website so I would not show up as a visitor. But I never miss a post.
I know you will keep writing your blog, as it is definitely a part of who your are.
Hang in there RG!
Do you counts include those of us who subscribe to your RSS feed? I haven’t missed an post in more than a year since i discovered you. You are interesting enough to look forward to a new post as it is, I don’t need to know your name for that to continue.
I’ve been reading your blog for about 3 years and I would miss you if you left. While I would enjoy meeting you, for the purely selfish reason that I enjoy your writing so much, I think that you should keep your real identity a secret. I think that “coming out” would affect your writing style and you may not be able to be as direct and honest – – at least that is the way that I see it. And as a native Floridian, born and raised in Key West, and then later in Miami, I enjoy your perspective of the keys lifestyle. You would have probably really enjoyed the Key West that I grew up in, 1954-1962. As I frequently tell friends and family, I LOVE south Florida but I hate what has happened to it. Still a Florida resident but no longer in south Florida. Please keep writing.
Spider–Well, thanks. Appreciate it.
Nicole–Yep, kind of an interesting quandary, one with which I grapple on a regular basis.
Whack-a-mole–Gottcha. And love your screen name.
Emily–Thanks so much.
Kim–As always, you provide great insights. As soon as I win the lottery, I am visiting you in Scotland!
Bob B–Appreciate the thoughts. Thanks.
Jennifer–Hah, an alternative universe. Love the image. As for meeting other bloggers, I’ve met a handful of readers simply as RG, and it’s only a very few whom I’ve gotten to know and keep as great friends.
Charlie–Thank you. And I didn’t consider the news feed and RSS stuff as invisible stats. Again, not that it really matters, it’s just curiosity on my part that ponders all this every six months or so.
Chris–As I mentioned to Charlie, didn’t think about RSS counts. No matter. Glad you like the blog and continue to read.
Debra–I so wish I could have known the Keys, particularly Key West, “back when.” It’s a curious place, KW, and the middle and upper Keys are as well. Very much appreciate your thoughts. Mulling it all over.
Hey RG –
I am a long time reader and occasional poster. I keep your RSS feed in my reader and yours is one of the blogs I look forward to each week. It does not matter to me either way if I know who you are. I enjoy the writing. On one hand it does feel a little weird to have an anonymous look into someone’s life but on the other that’s what most blogs are.
I have seen many people turn their blogs into avenues for commercial projects. I would not begrudge you one bit for using this as a business tool. So, public or anon matter not to me. Your choice and I support either one.
Well, RG, I would be the last to offer you advice. Being a “closeted” blogger myself affords me the power to poke people with impunity (How’s that for alliteration?). Writing under you own name, which I feel proud to know, might temper your world-class sarcasm. Or would it? Either way, I’ll still be here following your writing whether it’s RG’s adventures or XXXX’s adventures 🙂
I know what you are going through. I think knowing who is blogging makes the blog more personal. I’ve wanted people to know who I am for years too. But I work in an office environment with layers of bosses above me. And I have a very, very unusual name. So unusual I can guarantee there is only one person with my front and rear name combination – me. My bosses would not appreciate what I write and I need my job/career. So, I am trapped.
I would say that if you could blog with your real name and there would not be any seriously negative consequences, do it. But if not, that is OK too. Your personality comes through.
All the best.
SBG
Joe–Thanks. I would never commercialize RG. Could have done so many times over the years and just don’t feel it’s right for me or the blog. On the other hand, it would be nice to refer to this five-year chunk of writing when offering my credentials, especially referring to some of the posts I think represent the best of my writing abilities. On the other hand of that, since I have written a few pieces for publication outside the area, I now have those current examples.
Ex-RM–Always nice to hear from you. I swear some day we’ll actually say hi to each other in person. Meanwhile, appreciate the feedback.
SBG–I guess if I were writing as much as I used to about the industry from my perspective, I wouldn’t even consider breaking RG’s tradition of anonymity. But the reality is, anonymity is often a good thing, although I sometimes wish I could say to the subject of many of my stories: “Here’s how your story, your very person moved me, how it compelled me to see a side to life I hadn’t before considered.”
I don’t think I’ve ever commented…but I’m reading. To me, as long as you tell your story it doesn’t matter, regardless of what name you use, the story as you are now and have been will continue to bring me here to read. I can’t promise to always read if I drift away, but I don’t see that happening anytime soon.
I agree with most users that enjoyment of your blog is independent of knowing who writes it. However, I think as a matter of curiosity it would be interesting to know who the person behind the words is, but maybe that’s just my innate compulsion to want to know things!
Your blog is one I read quite assiduously and I enjoy the stories as much for their content as for their writing. Keep going!
i go down to big pine and bahia honda a lot and would totally stop by where you work, have a few drinks and food and of course tip you very well.
I’ve been lurking here since 2007 or so. I really enjoy your writing and I say keep your anonymity. In my humble opinion, Waiter Rant went way, way downhill once he was “outed”. Not to say he’s not a talented writer still but his tone and attitude just seemed to lose a lot of its appeal.
I read every single one of your posts and I’ve been reading for years. I don’t always comment to but I do always hope for your success and happiness. I do sometimes wish you weren’t so vague (as in sometimes I feel like I’ve only read half a story) about things, but at the same time, I don’t mean that I need to know your name, your address, your DOB, your SS number, your hair color…you get the idea. There’s nothing wrong with protecting your privacy, tell us as much as you want to.
anyway, still a faithful reader!
Stephanie M–All points well taken. Thanks.
Paulo–Glad you enjoy the stories and writing. Appreciate the thoughts.
Jenniferc–Better idea, when I finally get a day off (soon, I trained a great new bartender at my one job), how about we just meet at some tourist spot so I can drink and eat, too! 🙂
Kate–First, thanks for hanging in since 2007. Interesting point about Waiter. Is it that his tone actually changed, or one’s perception that it changed simply because we knew him, had seen him on TV talk shows, etc.? I get what you are saying, because I felt a little that way, too. But I also think he may have said as much as was to be said about the industry through his blog and book, and moved on in his writing beyond it. But I have to confess, I don’t check in as often as I once did (can’t even check in on RG to write my own blog enough these days!), so I haven’t really kept up with “waiter rant.”
amber–Your comment really hit home with me. “…sometimes I feel like I’ve only read half a story…” I would love to know when you feel that way again or what recent posts triggered that feeling. As a writer, I am so curious. Truth is, I only write half of the stories I want to tell, but I alway try to be as complete as possible with the ones I do write–and that’s because of the anonymity factor. Thank you for reading and the very helpful comment.
RG,
I look forward to reading your posts very much. As far as knowing who you actually are, I could go either way. In fact my husband and I will be in the keys in a few weeks and I have wondered if you are working at any of my favorite spots (my dad grew up in the keys so i’m familar with many places) but I think I’d be just as content to know you only as RG as I would if you told us who you were. This is ultimately your story and we are lucky enough to read about it.
I look forward to reading your post – your blog is like the expensive chocolate you wait to enjoy when you need it the most. So, YES, I would miss you terribly.
I think you’ve posted a photo or two over the years, so I have a picture in my head of you… but is more necessary? I don’t think so. Either way, I’ll keep reading. I love the way you write, and envy your ability to express yourself so eloquently.
As someone who has talked to you via radio and shared a few memories in your early blogging years, I have to say that your blog brings me a fascinating perspective of a world I’ve never known (and probably won’t) with a bit of humor and heart. I would miss your voice and the characters you experience each day.
However – if you can take this and make something more of it…and you want that…go for it. We (your readers) would probably follow your writing wherever.
Your writing is powerful, meaningful and has touched lives beyond just what you see in the comments section. If tomorrow you walked away or chose a different direction you can do so knowing you’re tales of hilarity and moments of emotional heartache did something for someone…and that’s all a writer can ask for…besides money. 😉
I don’t need to know who you are or see a picture. I can fill in the blanks as I read your words and imagine what it must be like. That’s why it’s fun to be a reader of these kind of blogs. It’s fun and mysterious. 🙂
However – if you do chose to go public ala Lebron James – I claim the radio broadcast rights. 😉
Aaron
Andrea–Thank you. And sounds like we have several folks coming to the Keys soon. Always up for a drink and conversation from those who now live “off the rock.”
Patty–Expensive chocolate! Now, THAT is a compliment to my writing, indeed. Thank you!
Sharon–Wow, you remember the photos in years past? Have to say, I am quite surprised that so many readers have hung in with RG so long. It’s very cool to know that.
Aaron–Speaking of someone who’s hung in over the years… 🙂 Hope all is well with you out west. And yes, all radio rights are yours. I suspect, however, your audience listening to me might be a tad smaller than if you snagged Lebron!
I don’t care if I know your name or face. I would miss your writing if you stopped. I just want to keep reading your writing — as long as you are willing to share and the writing makes you happy.
RG, I love your blog and am so glad to Waiter for having you on his blog roll. I check in daily with the hope for a new post. It wouldn’t matter to me it you “outed ” yourself, I love your writing. I too work in a resort community, but on the opposite end at a ski resort. It is always interesting to see the same, yet different things that happen. I also love that you put yourself out there. I would love to just give you a hug on those down days. Keep your chin up and blessing us with your great writing!
I would miss you very much! and would like to know who you are, because i’m curious and because i’d love to read other things you write, but ir really doesn’t make that much of a difference, i guess. Even if you were making this life up, if you were some guy living in Alaska and not a woman in the Keys. Your words would matter to me still.
dachickenlady–Will write as often as I can, given my ridiculous work schedule. I have really enjoyed seeing other perspectives on blogging, however. Lots to ponder.
Jenni G–I don’t know when I was last on Waiter’s blog roll, because I think it’s been a few years, but he definitely put RG on the blog map, and I will always appreciate him for that, as well as for some great writing of his own. Ski resort vs. sea resort, eh? A lot more in common in our worlds, I suspect, beyond having to trade boots for bikinis. haha
Maria jose–I love hearing from you and knowing you are still out there reading RG. Interesting comment! “Even if you were making this life up, if you were some guy living in Alaska and not a woman in the Keys….” Wow. I wish I were that creative to be making all this up–I’d have three novels completed by now, instead of half of a section of one chapter that is best left hidden away from public readership. Thanks again for reading RG all these years.
I’m reading you from Vegas. For all I know (or care) RG could be your real name. Whatever you put down doesn’t matter to me, I just like reading whatever you write.
I would miss your blog if it were gone. As far as knowing your identity, all we really lack is your name. Your writing is so good I feel like I know who you “are.” (I guess that’s kind of presumptuous of me.)
RG — I’ve been quiet for quite a while. Too long, actually. When I started working in an office (vs. telecommuting), I quit commenting. Someone might see me.
Now, I’m telecommuting again, and I will be better about commenting. 🙂
You’ve always been RG. Having a different name just gives me something else to call you. I don’t call my husband by his first name unless I’m upset with him. The rest of the time he’s “Sunshine.”
Big hugs to you.
RG, I started reading your blog when I was still working in the restaurant industry as a manager. Since then, I’ve moved on into a slightly different line of work, but surprisingly similar…. live events. My life has definitely taken some drastic dips and turns though, just as yours has. Some of the situations you have written about are so familiar, and you write about them much better than I ever could have. I find your insight with most of your posts incredibly refreshing and even though I rarely comment, I feel like you are a kindred spirit.
If it was me, I wouldn’t reveal my name. As others have already stated, the freedom you have with anonymity wouldn’t quite be there if you outed yourself. Is it possible to refer prospective writing employers to your site under the proviso that they don’t reveal who you are?
850 views. Oh my god— that’s kinda incredible. And you honestly have no idea why? I just started my restaurant blog about a month and a half ago. I got seventy hits in one day and started jumping around my living room. WHAT DOES 850 hits even mean? Do they come back.
I admire the fact that you’ve been writing consistently for five years.
I can’t wait to read more posts. And invite you to check out the stories I’ve started writing.
I stress when I don’t see your posts… It’s interesting to read about life in the “other” Sunshine State . That said, keep them anonymous – that will protect your anonymity and people you run across in your job(s) won’t freak about being mentioned if they know who you are 🙂
if you left, i’d miss you…. I have been reading you and sparatically commenting for… 3, 4 years? I don’t remember. All I know is that I have enjoyed the posts, and the pictures and the odd ‘this is sorta what I look like…’ posts. It’s always been interesting. Do what you want. You know what’s right for you
For me, a name isn’t important, the writing and the emotion behind it are what keep me coming back for more. I’ve been reading your blog since the early years and feel like I know you. When I was growing up, I had several pen pals over the years, and knew them exclusively though their letters, so knowing someone only through words makes sense to me. I would miss your writing if you weren’t here. As far as “revealing” your name, I have mixed feelings. I would love to read different types of your writing, but I would also hate it if you had to censor your writing. Being RG gives you a freedom to write about the situations and people around you without worrying about hurt feelings. You can vent about people and situations in your life honestly. Would your writing remain as honest if your “real” name was attached or would you censor your subject matter ? Follow your heart and do what feels right, but please keep writing.
JoeinVegas–Thanks very much. And you are right, RG is my real name. 🙂
Deanna–Not presumptuous. What a nice compliment to my writing.
Julie–I was wondering about you! So great to hear from you again. Good luck with the telecommuting, thank you for reading for so many years, and every bit of happiness to you.
Maddie–From kindred spirit to you, thank you.
theinsidewaiter–I average several hundred views a day. That is mostly unimportant. More important is the feedback I’ve gotten here and so much more to consider about the site. Good luck with your writing! ‘Dragon Lady” post–wow.
Mary–Interestingly, I think I edit myself more these days, anyway. Thank you so much for reading.
kgrrl–Always like hearing from you, and I know you have hung in there with RG. Thank you.
Echo–I will keep writing. But now I just want everyone who has commented so nicely and thoughtfully to come visit the Keys and have lunch with me so I can get to know all of you. 🙂 Thank you for the insightful comment.
RG, I absolutely would miss you. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with using your real name, your brand “Restaurant Gal” will be fine.
Best wishes,
L.
As I am half a world away, I don’t imagine it would make much difference one way or another what name you post under. To me, anyway. But it might to someone, and what you write is fairly personal stuff. It doesn’t take the haters much provocation to jump on the comments board and you really only need one of those to cross the line to make your life uncomfortable. I like your blog for the personal insights you offer, and , echoing Echo’s sentiments {intended :-)}, I would hate you to drop the small protection your perceived anonymity offers.
but keep up the good work 🙂
I have maintained some form of anonymity on my blog, but for the most part, everybody who reads it knows who I am. You and I have exchanged emails and I have been a longtime reader and have not needed to know who you are other than RG. Living in the DC area, I must admit to having some curiosity if I had encountered you on some restaurant visit, and I have also occasionally kept you abreast of DC restaurant news, when I thought you might be interested.
I have followed you from here to your new life in Florida and would be disappointed if you stopped blogging. Keep at it (and I will try and do the same – as my own blog has suffered from a variety of life changes and more pressures).
We love you!
The first 48 comments say it all – keep blogging RG. I agree with Ranx above when it comes to anonymity. There are enough crackpots out there in the blogosphere, and we (all your loyal readers) want you safe.
I read occasionally…..I’ve read all your posts. It’s been interesting reading about you doing something many fantasize about – chucking everything and starting over, but it’s been for entertainment only from my perspective (the reading of your blog, not saying you made all these changes for grins). Post or don’t post, whatever makes you happy. At this point I would not identify myself. Once that door is open, it can’t be shut. Don’t sell your privacy too cheaply.
Yes, I would miss your posts.To me, you’re on a journey and after all the twists and turns you’ve taken, I’m curious to see where your next bend in the road takes you.
As to your name, I don’t see that it matters. I also have been writing anonymously on my own blog for over a year now. When I started I wanted to keep the blog separate from the rest of my life. But lately I’ve been having second thoughts about that…
RG, Sorry I am only responding now, I’ve had a very sick toddler all week. I am also sorry if I insinuated in any way that your writing is flawed because It was not my intention. What I meant was that sometimes you leave out details (that you might feel are too personal to post and that it your absolute right.) I want to know the details because after all these years of following your blog, I sometimes feel like you are an old girlfriend (and I am totally rooting for your success in all aspects of your life, btw!) and not just a blogger/stranger I didn’t meet on the internet. 🙂 I can’t think of any examples now because my head seems tobe in a fog, but I will think about it and email you.
Amber–Quite the opposite of an insult! I really found your comment incredibly interesting and thoughtful because of the “half story” perception. Hope that baby is feeling better. I remember the toddler “fog” feeling like it was yesterday.
RG, keep on doing what you’re doing. I found you through Waiterrant years ago, don’t exactly recall when, but you were still in DC at the time. You have an interesting perspective of life and the people in your corner of the world that seems to bring it all to life. “Time to Savor the Blossoms” is my all time favorite. Right there you captured a slice of life few ever see because they simply aren’t paying attention. You saw it, wrote about it and I thank you for that.
Art
Art–Appreciate that. And that post you mentioned–I think about that man on that one day every day.
L.–Thank you.
Ranx–Good points. Anon. for now.
Brave Astronaut–Hey fellow D.C. blogger. Oh, who knows? I ran into just about everyone I knew and didn’t know when I worked in several DC restaurants. We could well have crossed paths.
gabrielle–Yep. Points all well taken.
angela–Chucking it all and starting over is great, but it comes with lots of homesickness that you finally have to recognize as the part of life you never chucked and never will.
savvysavingbytes–Yes, lots of twists and turns. I have no idea what’s next. I kind of live a week at a time, at least in terms of my location. This Keys stuff-what a love/hate relationship!
Great blog!
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I don’t care who you are as long as you keep on writing. Ilook forward to your posts
Hey RG- I don’t read as often as I used to- but when I do- I gobble up every post I’ve missed, and want for more.
I’m busier lately- the tot, tween & teen see to that- and there’s work, yadayada.
The thing is- I keep coming back to one of my favorite places – and everytime I do
And every time I do, I remember how much I’ve missed you and the would you share.
🙂
– & reading & commenting from my phone is just a pain in tbd buttocks!
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