While You Were Out

“We were all holding our breath for a week while you were out sick.”

Oh, thank you, I think.

“Because we were sure we’d all get the flu from you. But no one did! Good thing, too. Anyway, you feeling better?”

Feeling the love, mostly.


“Oh, you’re back, finally? Hope you’re feeling better. You still look really sick, though.”

Sometimes, women can be so nice.


“Heard you had the chicken flu.”



“It was Swine Flu, wasn’t it?”

Pretty sure it wasn’t.


“We saved these tips for you when we worked one of the nights. Unfortunately, they didn’t tip us too well!”

I love my bosses.


“We were worried about you, you know. So relieved to see you back at work.”

Please, will you be my grandparents? You are so sweet to me.


“I know this is going to sound strange, but did you get breast implants while you were off?”

Knowing you as an otherwise great customer, I am going to laugh at this and answer, “Shhhh. Let’s keep it our little secret about why I was out for a week.”






9 responses to “While You Were Out”

  1. Kim Ayres Avatar

    If having the flu makes your breasts bigger, there will be men right across the world trying to get their girlfriends to catch it while desperately trying to avoid it themselves… ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. Echo Avatar

    Welcome back ! ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Blew Avatar

    Glad your so “loved” down there. They reallt do dance to a differeent drummer, don’t they! LOL

  4. Blew Avatar

    oops, should have been REALLY

  5. Restaurant Gal Avatar
    Restaurant Gal

    Kim–I think it would be easier to pass along the name of the Victoria’s Secret bra, then no one has to catch the flu and lose a few pounds.


    Blew–You know, I actually like so many of the folks who frequent my bar. But like angry children, I think they were a little miffed I was out sick. Like I abandoned the ship or something. Too funny.

  6. joeinvegas Avatar

    Glad you finally got better, and it seems you were missed.

  7. South Florida real estate blog Avatar

    Glad you’re recovered. I always like to start my day with one of your posts, they are so well written.

  8. savannah Avatar

    glad you’re feeling better, sugar! good times, right? uh, NO, right? ๐Ÿ˜‰ xoxo

  9. Serious Replies Onlyl Avatar

    Glad you’re feeling better!