Worst of the Worst from the Front Dating Lines

“You talk a lot about your girlfriends, you know, how great friends they are and all. So, do you, um, you know, like them a whole lot? You know, like that?”

“I mean, so, I just want to be your friend. I like you and all, just not like that. So, can we be friends, you know, with benefits?”

“You are so adorable. You don’t have a daughter who dances at the strip club down the road, do you?”

“Do you still have a uterus?”

I wish I was kidding. I wish I was making this up.

I wish I could wish it all very, very far away.







16 responses to “Worst of the Worst from the Front Dating Lines”

  1. savannah Avatar

    i had to read this TWICE, sugar! how can you possibly keep a straight face after hearing lines like these? or do you? ๐Ÿ˜‰ xoxo

  2. Annapolitan Avatar

    Oh. My. God. And I used to think I heard bad lines!

  3. Sarah Avatar

    There are just no words to comment on those except, “Wow, do you have my sympathy!” What I really wonder is what in the world do you reply?

  4. Shannon Avatar

    Gal, your life is SOOO interesting. Where do you find these people – crawling out from under slimy rocks?
    Have you armed yourself with some great comebacks as yet? Would love to hear how you handle these come-ons.

  5. last one home Avatar

    you shouldn’t worry about being asked about your uterus–be suspicious if they ask about your kidneys–you don’t want to wake up in a bathtub full of ice

  6. Jean Avatar

    So – is the next post all about your answers to these questions?

  7. JoeInVegas Avatar

    I hope you just burst out laughing when these questions come up.

  8. Kim Ayres Avatar

    Surely everything you’ve gone through is worth it just to hear those lines said with a straight face ๐Ÿ™‚

    As for the uterus, tell him you never had one and everything down there is just window dressing. See how long it takes for him to work it out ๐Ÿ˜€

  9. Deanna Avatar

    So all this man weirdness specific to the Keys? Because I’m pretty sure that the men in Atlanta aren’t this crazy!

  10. kgrrrl Avatar

    And I thought the stuff I heard was horrid.

  11. Angie Avatar

    Please tell me the new guy didn’t say any of these things.

  12. Restaurant Gal Avatar
    Restaurant Gal

    Savannah–You know, there I am, having what appears to be a normal “dating” conversation with someone I barely know, then THE QUESTION. Believe me, I had to listen to it all twice, because I had to ask “Huh?”

    Annapolitan–See, I can make everyone out there dating feel a little better ๐Ÿ™‚

    Sarah–You form a cloud above your head that reads, “WTF did you just say?” and then say in reality, “What?”

    Shannon–I have discovered that when one is in shock, one does not have creative comebacks to the unbelievable.

    last one home–You know, somehow I feel better after reading your comment ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Jean–See above responses to others!

    JoeinVegas–Only in retrospect. I was too taken aback at the time.

    Kim–You make me laugh.

    Deanna–I have no idea. I only know my “reality.”

    kgrrrl–Don’t you feel better, now?

    Angie–No, the new guy did not. He’s miffed at me for other reasons, however, so who knows when I will hear from him again. But, given that,I felt I had to record these gems for all to see for themselves. I keep telling myself, “I am not the one who is insane, I am not the one who is insane,” even as I am driven slowly insane!

  13. Nicole Avatar

    oh my god ๐Ÿ™‚ how can you contain the surprised laughter? At least its a great way to weed out the weirdos ๐Ÿ™‚ Good luck

  14. formercaligal Avatar

    I, too, had to read this twice, like Savannah! OMG…makes me think of the quote: “Ignorance is bliss.”

  15. Jean Avatar

    Reply to the uterus question “No, they took the uterus, but left the box it came in….”

  16. Lex Avatar

    You are not the one who is insane!