The Brazilian–Not Wax!

I used to have curly hair. Sure, I hated it, like all girls who have naturally curly hair hate their hair. Then I moved to SoFla. And I learned that the hair I hated in D.C. was nothing compared to the poodle-mop that emerged in this perennially hot, humid air. Hate, indeed, is a relative term.

“You’ll learn to deal with it,” counseled my 21-year-old host last summer. “Buy lots of product and use double whatever the label says.”

Except that didn’t work. Nothing did.

And then I discovered the secret to a good hair day every day, at least for four months. The Brazilian. God love it and damn the cost. Once that stuff is smeared on your locks, the frizz is gone, the color is good, and a little dab will literally do ya, product-wise.

Of course, you will not be able to eat for a month or more because the cost of The Brazilain treatment, combined with your rent, will be $372.57 more than your monthly net income.

Oh, and add the cost of boarding your precious dog at the fancy day-care/canine camp spot, because The Brazilian takes time, lots of time. (For the record, Rouletta garnered a gold star at camp today–for being “most regal.” I have no comment on that, because I have The Brazilian glop on my hair, and I am rendered silent on all topics other than my straight hair.)

But you won’t care about any of this, however. After all, you look great.

Okay, great is a relative term. Because you can’t wash The Brazilian glop out of your hairdo for 72 hours after the glop is applied, nor can you clip it back or tie it in a pony tail. No, you just let it hang there in all its chemical-laden, pin-straight glory until you can’t stand it another second and figure 48 hours is good enough. You will then lie to your stylist and say you waited 72 hours before you washed it, because that’s what everyone does. But then, once he is paid, your stylist couldn’t care less what the hell you do to your hair, or when you do it.

The last time I got The Brazilian applied to my curly locks, I met the boy the next day. My stylist promised me this tonight: “This treatment will last longer and I purposely didn’t include the drama karma.”

Forget the frizz control–that’s why I pay him the big bucks.






11 responses to “The Brazilian–Not Wax!”

  1. Katie Avatar

    I love your writing, I love the glimpses into your day. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  2. Rhonda Avatar

    I second Katie’s comments and WTG Rouletta. Sure the treatment costs a fortune but there is nothing like getting yourself pampered after a rough time.

  3. Julie Avatar

    Ah, yes, the humidity. I have naturally curly hair, too. I do pretty well controlling it on days I want straight hair… but not in Florida. In Florida, It gets big and frizzy and totally out of control. (And, yes, I tried layers and layers of hair product — nothing can block that humidity!)

    Pampering is a necessity — there’s nothing quite like doing something nice for yourself.

  4. savannah Avatar

    wow, sugar! i thought i had it bad up heah, but then again, i just let the curls rule!

  5. Kim Ayres Avatar

    I’m so glad you said “not wax” The whole post does read completely differently if you ignore the title 🙂

  6. knitgirl Avatar

    Be careful, I read an article in the October ’07 issue of Allure that those methods use formaldehyde and that women have suffered serious side effects from the treatment. I can’t find the article, but here is a link to the CBS morning show site that talks about it. I enjoy your writing too much to not warn you. I have totally blah, in-between hair, not stright, not curly, just kinda wavy.

  7. namaste Avatar

    Brilliant, just brilliant.

  8. Restaurant Gal Avatar
    Restaurant Gal

    Katie–Thank you!

    Rhonda–Rouletta is certainly the little princess these days, and the pampering is always worth it.

    Julie–It is 100% humidity all time, except in January and February, when it is a mere 65%, until it rains.

    Savannah–Oh, I think your humidity is a a pretty close cousin.


    Knitgirl–No worries. Got the non-formaldehyde formula.

    Namaste–Thank you, as always!

  9. knitgirl Avatar

    good! Glad it works for you!

  10. mom2mateo Avatar

    I have curly hair. I tried the Brazilian and I had to blow dry my hair to keep it straight. Do you have to blow dry your hair? I could not stand to do that. I have always been wash and wear. Did I get a bad Brazilian?

  11. Restaurant Gal Avatar
    Restaurant Gal

    Knitgirl–Me too!

    Mom2mateo–I blow dry my hair, too. The difference is, it blows out very straight and smooth and stays that way, even in the steam bath weather of SoFla. If I let it dry on its own, it’s still less frizzy than it used to be, although some curl is there.