I used to have curly hair. Sure, I hated it, like all girls who have naturally curly hair hate their hair. Then I moved to SoFla. And I learned that the hair I hated in D.C. was nothing compared to the poodle-mop that emerged in this perennially hot, humid air. Hate, indeed, is a relative term.
“You’ll learn to deal with it,” counseled my 21-year-old host last summer. “Buy lots of product and use double whatever the label says.”
Except that didn’t work. Nothing did.
And then I discovered the secret to a good hair day every day, at least for four months. The Brazilian. God love it and damn the cost. Once that stuff is smeared on your locks, the frizz is gone, the color is good, and a little dab will literally do ya, product-wise.
Of course, you will not be able to eat for a month or more because the cost of The Brazilain treatment, combined with your rent, will be $372.57 more than your monthly net income.
Oh, and add the cost of boarding your precious dog at the fancy day-care/canine camp spot, because The Brazilian takes time, lots of time. (For the record, Rouletta garnered a gold star at camp today–for being “most regal.” I have no comment on that, because I have The Brazilian glop on my hair, and I am rendered silent on all topics other than my straight hair.)
But you won’t care about any of this, however. After all, you look great.
Okay, great is a relative term. Because you can’t wash The Brazilian glop out of your hairdo for 72 hours after the glop is applied, nor can you clip it back or tie it in a pony tail. No, you just let it hang there in all its chemical-laden, pin-straight glory until you can’t stand it another second and figure 48 hours is good enough. You will then lie to your stylist and say you waited 72 hours before you washed it, because that’s what everyone does. But then, once he is paid, your stylist couldn’t care less what the hell you do to your hair, or when you do it.
The last time I got The Brazilian applied to my curly locks, I met the boy the next day. My stylist promised me this tonight: “This treatment will last longer and I purposely didn’t include the drama karma.”
Forget the frizz control–that’s why I pay him the big bucks.