“We were sitting there eating dinner at my place, and he looked at my dog and said, ‘Can’t you just put him out on the porch or something?’” RG Daughter is repeating a conversation she had with a young man she has been seeing. A really cute young man who is creative and artistic and successful job-wise, even as a recent college graduate.
RG Daughter continued: “So I looked at him for a minute, then I said, ‘You know, I just don’t think this is going to work.’”
Wow. To be so sure. So honest with the boy when she was so sure. So quickly.
“Because after all I have been through with my puppy–how many times he almost died because he was so sick, how I had to put him on a plane and send him back to the breeder, wondering if he would survive the flight and thinking I would never see him again, and now I finally have him back again–no one is going to tell me to just stick him on the porch, you know?”
“Because you can tell a lot about a guy based on the way they treat your dog, at least that’s what I think.”
“And this guy barely tolerated my puppy all along. So guess what? Bye.”
Just like that?
“Yeah, just like that.”
Aren’t you sad? You kind of liked him, right?
“Not really sad, even though I liked him. I just knew I should end it before anyone got hurt.”
This from my 21-year-old. The same 21-year-old who recently experienced the end of a three-year relationship and is now new to the harsh dating world herself. This from my 21-year-old who sometimes has it so much more together than her mother.
“Mom, you know about the whole texting thing, right?”
Um, do I?
“Never text first!”
Oh, that’s ridiculous.
“No really. Don’t. It’s part of the game, at least that’s what my friends tell me.”
Although, now that I think about it, that’s when things went south with the boy, when suddenly I was the only one initiating all the texts about getting together.
“And we’re not supposed to be so available. Guys like the chase or the thrill of the hunt or some such crap.”
Please, that is so dumb. And yet, I’ve heard that rule of dating idiocy from a couple of my friends, too.
“Yeah, I know. So stupid, but it’s true. And seriously, if any guy you’re dating doesn’t like Rouletta–or even worse, only pretends to like her until he thinks he can tell you to ditch her on a porch–well….”
Right. Dump him. Before anyone gets hurt.
“Because there’s no point in continuing.”
But what about a guy who is out walking his own dog, and he stops to say hi so our dogs can say hi, and he seems to like my dog until his dog snarls and my dog nips back and suddenly a full-blown dog fight is nearly a reality, and then it’s kind of difficult to carry on the “Where are you from? What do you do?” conversation, so you say goodnight before you even exchange the names of your dogs, much less your own. What do the dating rule-makers have to say about that?
“Mom, you have got to get Rouletta out more with other dogs so she can be socialized!”
How did I raise such a wise girl?