So Mean

What is the meanest thing you have ever done to someone? I’m talking about down-and-dirty, ugly mean.

Did you take full credit for a work project that really belonged to a junior staffer or co-worker?

Did you throw your boss under the bus with the big boss, because you could and it might mean a move up for you?

Did you have an affair with your best friend’s spouse or significant other and then commiserate with her when she cried to you about her suspicions that he was seeing someone else?

Did you simply cut off communication with someone and then tell them everything was “fine” when they asked what was up, when, in fact, you now despise this someone and don’t have the guts to tell them the friendship is over?

Did you tell someone who is still reeling from being ditched by a boy that you have photos in your cell that the boy sent to you of his new hot girl from Miami, and then call that boy while the someone is sitting next to you–the someone who was simply out enjoying a drink with friends and she thought you were one of them–and then tell the boy (in a loud voice so the someone and the other friends can’t help but listen) that you are sitting with the someone he ditched, invite him to come join you, and then delight in telling the someone that the boy said he didn’t want to come out tonight after all?

“It’s South Florida,” said another friend of the boy the someone barely knows because he saw she was upset. “Don’t take anything seriously down here.”

So mean.






40 responses to “So Mean”

  1. Dustin Avatar

    Wow, that’s…. weird. And I’m sure she wasn’t that hot. 😉

  2. Julie Avatar

    Can I thump this person on the head for you? Really hard… with a brick.

    It would make me feel better.

  3. Janet Avatar

    Ugh. The one with the cell phone sounds like she enjoys gallavanting in other people’s drama. Boo, she should be slapped.

  4. knitgirl Avatar

    God! some people sure are jerks. I just don’t get that kind of behavior. I think people who pull those kinds of stunts must just be absolutely miserable and have the need to make everyone around them feel just as bad. Don’t take it to heart. You’ve got a lot of people out there who care about you.

  5. knitgirl Avatar

    God! some people sure are jerks. I just don’t get that kind of behavior. I think people who pull those kinds of stunts must just be absolutely miserable and have the need to make everyone around them feel just as bad. Don’t take it to heart. You’ve got a lot of people out there who care about you.

  6. philosopherP Avatar


    It is people like that who make me hope Karma is real — they’ll get theirs sooner or later…

  7. DodgerGirl Avatar

    Wow, so being in South Florida is an excuse to be purposely hurtful? That’s a new one. Sorry you’re hurting, RG. Take care and try to avoid the malicious types.

  8. Jennifer Avatar

    Some shitheel actually DID that to you??? And you did not immediately bean them with a bottle of beer? Never mind, tell us who this twit is and WE’LL take ’em out.

    What a bunch of crap.

  9. Shannon Avatar

    Its time you revealed some names, photos, etc of people this mean! They should not be allowed to continue unstopped on the planet a minute longer. Give us their cell number, or email address. We’ll tell them exactly what we think of people this mean!

  10. retired restuarant manager Avatar
    retired restuarant manager

    Its time for a new bar and new “friends”, Florida is a big place with nice people I’m sure. I once moved to a new city…it took me nearly 2 years before I found a GOOD bunch of people who I could call my friends…now, nearly 5 years later, I dont live in that city anymore, but those friends are still in touch, and I visit often. You have to ask yourself….are any of the people that your spending time with going to be there for you in 5 years, would you be there for them….? I am not bashing the situation, because I have been in your shoes, I am just offering a different viewpoint.

  11. k Avatar

    wow. brutal.

  12. Allie Avatar

    *gentle hugs*

  13. Istvanski Avatar

    I once farted in bed and fluffed the duvet cover over my girlfriend. Is that bad?
    I can’t even be bothered to do that nowadays. Life’s no fun anymore.

  14. Kevin Avatar

    That totally sux, RG. Dump that chick NOW.

  15. maureen Avatar

    Some people should just be shot & left by the side of the road!!!

  16. Restaurant Gal Avatar

    The “friend” who thought it was fun to be mean is actually a guy. So is the nicer one who shared the SoFla opinion.

  17. iowagirl Avatar

    RG – he must be a sad, sorry person. I’ll never understand people who delight in making other people feel bad. The best revenge, on both the boy and this sadist, is to live well and be happy. Rooting for ya! (love your blog, your writing style and your spirit!)

  18. MenSuck Avatar

    I’m sure he’ll drop the new one just as fast. The “boy” is an asshole, pardon my French, but it seems to me that bar was his before it was yours and those other “boys” who are his “friends” have known him longer and they are likely just as bad as he is. A fast and loose set that don’t even understand that what they are doing is wrong and hurtful to others. Hate to say it, but find yourself a new hangout with a better class of people!

  19. Angie Avatar

    WOW! How rude and hurtful. You know gal, I think it’s time for a friend upgrade. You really deserve to be treated better than this.

  20. MenSuck Avatar

    I have no idea what possesses some people to be like this. It is so.. High school is the only word I can think of. And yes, I also assumed it was some bitchy woman that did this because some women can be catty that way. To learn it was guy, was a shock. I never had respect for “men” that gossip like women, and really I don’t liek women who gossip much either, but it is a whole new level of pathetic when it is a guy. I wish you had slapped him. What an asshole. Remember that birds of a feather flock together. You already know what the “boy” was made of and chances are his friends are cut from the same piece of dirty tarnished cloth that he was. I would also bet money that you are not the first girl that they’ve taken delight in befriending, only to stab in the back after the boy pulls his disappearing act.

  21. L Avatar

    I think you should upgrade because you are genuine and sweet. Now, I don’t mean cutting off “the boy.” He didn’t know his guy brag would be shown to you, in fact, he most likely felt awful that you were dragged into that mean spirited act by his buddy. You are single; so it the boy/guy. You got a very twisted glimpse which reflects the actions of the dumb ass buddy, not your friend that you’re still very fond of. Keep the heart open, he just stopped being so physically close, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t like/love/is terribly fond of you still. Guys are odd sometimes. Of course he wouldn’t come over there after he realized you heard the stupid comments of his “friend.” It means he does care. He needs to upgrade friends and keep you.

    take care, L.

  22. Laundramatic Avatar

    Wow… and I thought only 15 year olds did that kind of stuff. Looks like the friend with the cell phone gets along with the boy swimmingly because theyre both into mind games and playing with people’s emotions.

  23. MenSuck Avatar

    L, I’ll admit that I idn’t think of it like that… I still think the boy is an ass though. You can tell alot from people by the types of people they choose to surround themselves with. The “boy” is a user, and it seems to me that he was already seeing girl number 2 while he was still running into RG at that bar and making flirtatious comments and leading her on.

    I do agree that the “boy” probably felt bad about what his friend did unless he has no soul at all, which maybe he doesn’t, but I think that the boy is much more concerned with his own feelings… in other words he is avoiding the bar because he did not want to run into what would have likely been an emotional and unpleasant encounter.. for HIM! I think the boy is just a player. I don’t think he wants to hurt people, but rather use them up like tubes of toothpaste and then disgard them. I’m sure he’d prefer the people he disgarded weren’t pissed about it, but that’s not too normal is it?

    If you go back to that place ever, you should call both the boy and his pal out on their BS juvenile behavior. They shouldn’t be allowed to get away with that stuff.

  24. Mary Tiler More Avatar

    Wow. You’ve really stirred people. The assumption that the cell phone person was a woman is really interesting. I actually thought the same thing when I read it, so I guess I’ll have to think about that. … Sounds like a rather complicated 24 or so hours is in the works. But no matter where this takes you, it must be comforting to know that so many people seem so very willing to go to bat for you. Maybe these are longtime friends who know you like a sister … but if not, then I can only say that the honesty in your writing must be striking a chord deep within. It can’t always be easy to regularly put your heart and soul out there for the world to see, but you’re obviously a born writer, so please keep it up. The more honest people are, the more people relate and the more we all realize what a better place the world would be if we could all reach that level with one another. So go RG, to think and write and work your way through another of life’s many challenges.

  25. Kim Ayres Avatar

    I actually think he should be told to his face that his actions were insensitive and out of order. But I’ve never quite understood why some people delight in being a complete arsehole

  26. Phil Avatar

    Once a girl from school was agitating me and I told her to go ‘shave her mustache’.

    Little did I know how later in life I would become quite fond of the furry caterpillars….

  27. Slowpokemary Avatar

    Funny, I assumed the one with the cell phone was a man (technically – child actually). Men don’t typically send other women picture of their new hot chick but can’t wait to send them to their guy friends.

  28. Rangerguy Avatar

    Wow, I feel like I’m reading the diary of a teenager latley.

    I thik an update is in order. Your posts are so cryptic I don’t have a clue what is going on. Last post I was able to understand you were still madley in love with your husband. Now your getting over a breakup with a guy that was just using you for sex?
    So are you actually getting divorced or still want to be with hubby but want to sleep around for awhile?

  29. Rose Royce Avatar
    Rose Royce

    If this were a movie, that I’d been falling asleep in (to explain why I don’t have the full picture) I might assume the boy and mean cell phone friend were also bedfellows or perhaps they liked to pass girl friends around; by comforting the ex’s when they were dumped. I’d also assume our heroine was about to get a big realization about what had occurred and where her path was leading. How many movies have you see the heroine afraid to trust because she’s afraid of being tossed aside? If you were rewriting this as a movie script were there any gut feelings the heroine ignored? Did mean cell phone guy do mean things that were kind of funny, either because you didn’t know the background story fully or because he has a biting sarcastic humor? Life is hard and painful.

  30. MenSuck Avatar

    It would be so funny if RG wenht back to that bar with a close friend in tow for moral support sometimes when the guy and his buddy with there and made some type of witty comment that embarrassed them. Some examples that spring to mind involve cracks his sexual performance, an eggtimer, and how the latter makes it possible for him to “get around”. He really is like the Jiffy Lube service station of men… service in 3 minutes or less. The only comparison I have for his nasty cell phone wielding pal is Muttley, the evil sidekick dog from the old Dudley DoRight (?) cartoons. I guess that since he can’t get a woman of his won, he has to be content to drool over pixelated sloppy seconds of someone else!

    Don’t take that crap frorm these idiots. I wish you kept the “boy’s” phone number now so you could call him up and tell him off!

  31. Restaurant Gal Avatar
    Restaurant Gal

    Dustin–Weird, odd, stupid. And who knows how hot she is or isn’t? Doesn’t matter all that much, you know?

    Julie–Not worth the effort.

    Janet–Nah, just another dumb guy.

    Knitgirl–He is a piece of work, for sure. Thanks for the positive thoughts.

    philosopherP–You know I am a big believer in karma….

    DodgerGirl–Crazy down here–the Wild West of manners and respect.

    Shannon–Again, not worth the effort, trust me.

    Retired RM–I know, I know. Seriously, I know. Just tough in between odd work hours and such. I’ll figure it out, sooner or later. Hope you are well.

    K–Yeah, kind of.

    Allie–Thank you.


    Kevin–As you know, she is a stupid he.

    Maureen–No, no. Not worth it.

    Iowagirl–The guy is an ass. No revenge needed. Gotta stay above the fray in my world. Or at least try, even when the idiots try to drag you down with them.

    MenSuck–Welcome to what I hope is the end of my high school years 🙂 Hey, gotta go through stuff to grow up, you know?

    Angie–We’ll see how it all goes along. Making pals down here is a definite challenge.

    L–You are so nice with your comments. Between us, though, I am thinking it all works out in the Disney movies, not necessarily SoFla reality. But, a girl can dream–or call it a day.

    Laundromatic–I know, go figure. But as I have commented to others, I guess I am supposed to go though all this dumb high school crap to get to the next level. Wonderful….

    Mary Tiler More–I only feel like I know everyone who comments. Actually, I don’t, except here on my blog. And despite the ugly comments here and there (and they are thankfully few), it is very cool to have these cyber pals be willing to prop me up. No, it’s not easy to put it all out there, except I don’t know any other way to write, critics of this trend on my blog aside.

    Kim–You want to go have a drink at the ocean with me tonight 😉

    Phil–You always have a way with your comments that are near and dear to my heart!

    Slowpokemary–Yeah, no kidding.

    Rangerguy–Thanks for the intentionally kind words. You must be from this area.

    Rose Royce–Wise words, my friend.

    MenSuck–No, no. Simply not my style. Never will be. It’s all moving into the past, and it is better left there. I just can’t wait to really feel the hurt is over. Until then….

  32. ellen Avatar

    face it … the guy did you a favor … kind of like ripping a band aid off fast …
    the big clue was how you alway refer to the boy as the *boy* … big clue there ..
    i think you would be better suited with a ….. man …

    head up … shoulders back …. neither on them was worth a …. thing …

  33. Jeanmarie Avatar

    Kick him. Hard. Where it counts.

  34. Kim Ayres Avatar

    If I was there, of course I would. I’m sure just being in my presence he would suddenly realise his complete inadequacies as a man and realise he has to start from scratch all over again 😉

  35. Catherine Avatar

    Honestly, could that person be any more heartless. That’s just crazy and sad. I would like to think that person has a special place in HELL 🙁

  36. fireflygirl Avatar

    i feel your pain. i am still dealing with the following situation: found out bf was cheating on me, was lying to both of us, she believed him and i didn’t so i got kicked out of my house. a couple weeks later his now fiancee decides to start harassing and stalking me, going so far as to open my mail that didn’t get forwarded and to track down my ex-husband to try and get dirt on me. to top it all off, the ex is completely denying any relationship between us and is telling everyone that i have mental issues that led me to believe he loved me. according to him, i hallucinated an 8 month intimate relationship. she is still stalking me and making it her every day thing to come up with something she thinks is insulting to me. today i was a fat arse cow that no one wants to go out with.

    so, it wasn’t me who did it, but i do know how mean people can be. luckily it has gotten to a point where it is so pathetic how far they have taken this that it has actually helped me get over the breakup. i’m definitely better off without his lying cheating arse. i agree with everyone who is saying you need to upgrade friends. people who are that insensitive aren’t worth the time.

  37. MenSuck Avatar

    FireflyGirl, I would get the police involved. Opening someone else’s mail is a FEDERAL CRIME and they will prosecute. Additionally, many states have anti-stalking laws and I person can recieve jailtime for harrassment via email, phone calls, etc. Screen your phone calls and save the messages, then use it as proof. You do not have to tolerate being harrassed.

  38. fireflygirl Avatar

    Sadly, I did call the police and they said there wasn’t enough to warrant an investigation and I have no actual proof that she opened my mail, I have just come to that conclusion due to some statements she has made. I moved out of state a couple weeks ago and changed my phone number, so she is no longer following me around physically nor is she able to text me, but she has kept it up via myspace. It’s at the point where it’s entertainment to me, really, because it is absolutely pathetic that a grown woman is spending so much time and energy to try and trash my character viz myspace. I just laugh now every time one of my friends says “you should see what she wrote now”. 🙂

  39. upset waitress Avatar

    get a real job 🙂

  40. savannah Avatar

    come on up to savannah, sugar! 😉 hostess city of the south!