I worked 9 hours yesterday. I won’t bore you, my readers, with the crises, except to say I handled them, and I wish I had handled them better.
I worked 12 hours today. All good. I wanted, I needed the distraction that work provided. I got it.
I was starving all day. Fries, ice cream, salads, spinach–yeah, it all appealed. By the time I was off, however, I was so hungry that I was no longer hungry. But I wanted a shift drink and fresh air. Mostly fresh air.
I went to my place at the ocean, but I did a drive by to make sure the boy wasn’t there. I am grateful for whatever client or work emergency or other girl kept him away. (Yeah, I know, it had to be the next girl, but okay.) Because I sat among friends, and I drank my wine, and then I watched a storm come up over the ocean, and I laughed more in one hour than I have in weeks and weeks.
I felt, for the first time in weeks, or is it a month already, like it might be okay here.
Like I might be okay. Not great. But just okay is the moment I have been waiting for.
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6 responses to “Okay Moment”
I love moments like that. Just the other night I went out with a friend and laughed till I cried, too. Not that I was particularly sad or anything … but I had begun taking life just a tad too seriously … and suddenly I saw the humor in it all (there was so much of it there to see). Glad you arrived back in the OK zone. Hope it’s soon the really great zone.
Okay can be great sometimes, as it reminds you there are other states of being after all
Welcome home.
Whenever I talk to my dad, we try to catch each other up on whatever is going on. The summary usually ends with “Everything’s okay.” Nothing’s great, but nothing’s terrible, either. I like okay most of the time. The excitement at the extremes wears me out.
Hope there are many more “Okay” days in your future.
RG, I know I’ve said it before, but you’re asking for troublehanging out at that bar. He hung out there and brought other girls there before you, and chances are he will eventually start bringing girl by there. Sure you are checking for HIS car, but who says he is checking for yours? Just like Jen Anniston said about Brad… “The guy seems to be missing a sensitivity chip.”
Last thing I’d ever want to see is a strong-minded woman like yourself stop going to a place she likes because of an idiotic man, but just make sure you are ready for the inevitability that you will run into him there possibly with someone new in tow. You already know, and so does, he, that his other “exes” hang out at that bar.
I’m sorry RG… I just don’t want to see you get an emotional punch to the stomach because you don’t deserve it and you might not like hearing about it, but it will be far worse to experience it. I’m glad your weekend was “Okay” and hopefully soon you will have some “Fantastics” to share.
Hurray OK!
yay! i smiled for you.