As the Weeds Morph

The phone was ringing and ringing, but every time I answered it, a fax tone blared in my ear.

The private room was booked with a party of 26. Twice. No, you don’t understand, I don’t double book! Okay, I did once in D.C., but it worked out. This time I wasn’t so lucky, and I had 26 happy people munching away and another two dozen demanding to talk my GM because separate tables in the two main dining rooms were not at all acceptable.

My GM simply shrugged, walked away, saying over his shoulder, “Your mess. You deal with it.”

But wait, can you just get the phone? It won’t stop ringing.

“RG,” said the new host, giggling. “Um, someone is here to see you.”

“Yes?” I asked the woman standing in my foyer, a stuffed shopping bag in her hand.

“Here, this is yours,” she said, dropping the bag at my feet as she turned to leave.

“Wait, no, what is it?” I asked, almost panicking, because something inside the bag was moving. Something in it was alive! WTF? “Come back!” I shouted at her. But she never looked back.

I glanced down at the bag, watching in horror as two scraggly puppies scampered out of it. One ran toward the the podium, while the other zig-zagged through the dining room toward the kitchen.

“RG, you know you can’t have animals in here!” shouted the maitre d’.

“Oh my God, RG!” giggled the host.

“Help me get them!” I shouted to both of them.

But they wouldn’t. They walked away, too, laughing.

I grabbed the puppy by the podium, and he nipped at my hand. I didn’t care, because I had to find the other one.

“Your manager?” asked the woman who thought she had booked the private room, but who was sorely out of luck and very, very angry.

“I’ll be right back,” I told her, running through the dining room with the one puppy under my arm.

“RG, call on line one,” shouted someone.

“RG, what menu are we using for this party?” demanded the captain for this event. “Did you print them yet?”

“RG, get that damned puppy out of the kitchen!” yelled the chef from the line.

And just as the puppy I was holding wiggled free from my arms, and the phone continued to ring and ring, and the host kept giggling, and my manager locked me out of the office…

…I forced my eyes open. It took a second, but I felt the simultaneous relief of waking from a bad dream and knowing none of it was real.

Except for one thing that is real, and she is not part of anyone’s bad dream:


Welcome Rouletta to my life.

And happy 2nd anniversary to Restaurant Gal, the blog that chronicles my life, for better or for much better.

Much better, I hope.






23 responses to “As the Weeds Morph”

  1. m Avatar

    Absolutely fall-in-love cute! Does she have you wrapped around her little paw yet? I predict lots of doggie adventures!

    Congrats on the pup, RG.

  2. m Avatar

    And congrats on the anniversary! Quite an accomplishment. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. last one home Avatar

    weed dreams…sometimes they take up half of my nightly four hours of sleep.

  4. Ribeye of your Dreams Avatar

    This is why I don’t deal with the special events area of my job, and stick primarily in the cocktail areas. I’ll work the dining room occasionally, but then parties like the one bitching above tend to get on my nerves and I can make more money on a ton of small tables than I can big ones.

    The doggie is adorable, btw.

  5. Kim Ayres Avatar

    2 years and a puppy! Double Congratulations!!

  6. Rick Avatar

    Congrats on the dog and the blog! And, of course, you know what’s next….


  7. upset waitress Avatar

    Is that a Boston Terrier? Where did you get her? Oh my she is cute. She looks like an adult. Why is she looking at us like that? lheha. Get back here RG, what happened to the big lazy dog you were thinking about?

  8. Lauren Avatar

    Aww, what a face!

  9. Restaurant Gal Avatar
    Restaurant Gal

    M–She just arrived last night! And two years ago, I never would have dreamed any of this!

    Last one home–Hate the weed dreams. Love this new girlfriend in my life.

    Ribeye–Mostly, the private events are great. It’s the other crazy guests who make me crazy!

    Kim–A double kind of day, for sure.

    UW–Indeed, she is a Boston Terrier. My daughter tracked her down through a breeder from whom she is getting a puppy this June. Turns out, Ms. Rouletta is a 5-year-old amazing girl who lost her figure after having puppies this fall. Which is why I adore her already, and I’ve only had her 12 hours!

    Lauren–Too cute, I know!

  10. Jennifer Avatar

    SQUUUEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a little DOLL!!!!!!! Here’s hoping you and the darling Ms Rouletta have many MANY wonderful years, full of romps on the beach. And happy anniversary!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. JT Avatar

    Just thought I would delurk and leave a comment today. Congratulations on both the anniversary and new addition!

  12. Augs Avatar

    Hokie Smokes, what a dream. I’d hate to be around you when you have a real bad one. Oh kudos onthe dogger. What a looker, hope it brings you much happiness and wonderful companionship.

  13. Laundramaticormgna Avatar

    Happy blog Anniversary, RG! I am looking forward to reading many more of your fascinating stories

  14. Manuel Avatar

    Happy blog day! awh the pup looks ……well it looks eh um er……lovely

  15. Canis latrans Avatar

    Congratulations on the puppy. Crate training, live it, be it and you will love puppy hood.
    Happy anniversary!


  16. m Avatar

    Boo! someone is using ‘my’ letter.
    What sort of person dumps a dog during the crazy busy lunch time??? She is crazy cute, but that’s messed up. Especially the dump-and-run.

  17. Kris Avatar

    Restaurant horror dreams are the worst…except when the best part of it is there when you wake up.

    She’s perfectly perfect. ๐Ÿ™‚

  18. Christine in LA Avatar

    Congrats! And many happy days with Ms. Rouletta!

  19. Mary Avatar

    She’s precious!

  20. upset waitress Avatar

    Well good for you. She’s young still too. So how are you two adapting to each other now? Can’t believe you got a dog after all. =)

  21. caligal Avatar

    I can’t believe you got a doggie!!!! Hooray!!!
    She is wonderful!!! As a small doggie owner myself, I know Miss Rouletta will bring you much joy. Where does the name come from?

  22. Jenni Avatar

    oohhhh yay !! What an adorable addition to your family!!! & congrats congrats on the anniversary too!!! is it just me? it seems like I’ve known you for so much longer than two years!~!~

    here’s to many more… and to all joy you & the puppy love in your future!!!

  23. David M Avatar
    David M

    Awww! I had a boston terrier too! they’re so cute!