A Short List of Unoriginal Things to Do in a Restaurant

I haven’t vented about guests in a while, mainly because I like our guests here in paradise (I know, call me…whatever). On the other hand, a minority few inspire the following observations about how not to be original in a restaurant:

–Make a reservation for 7 people, show up with 12, and complain about having to wait a few minutes while we scramble to re-set the table because, “I have a reservation.”

–Don’t make a reservation for a Friday or Saturday night, show up at 8 p.m., claim to have one and add, “It’s off season, so what’s the big deal?” and then blame “the girl who must have messed up the reservation,” all the while glaring at me as you say this.

–Tell the maitre d’, then the host, then your server, and then the manager on duty that you have been good friends with the owner “for years, longer than you’ve worked here.”

–Tell all of the above persons that you’ve eaten in the best restaurants around the world, and you’ll let us know whether or not this one measures up.

–Decry our wine list because the one special bottle you have at home is not on our list.

–Take your girl out for a nice dinner, make her cry throughout the appetizer and entree courses, and then try to make up with her over a shared dessert that you ordered.

–Take your guy out for a nice dinner, pretend all is well throughout the appetizer and entree courses, and then break up with him over a shared dessert that you ordered.

–Take your elderly relative out for a nice dinner and make it very clear to the staff what a nuisance this relative is.

–Do drugs in the restroom.

–Have sex in the restroom.

Unoriginal is always the same unoriginal, be it in the trendy eateries in South Florida, any upscale spot in D.C., or every restaurant everywhere else.






10 responses to “A Short List of Unoriginal Things to Do in a Restaurant”

  1. jali Avatar

    I’ve judged more than a few dates on their behavior in restaurants. The cheap tippers are the worst – no – they’re tied with the finger snappers. Any pretentious behavior when wineing and dining me cancels out any positive attributes.

  2. Julie Avatar

    Great list, RG. I am happy to know that I haven’t done any of these things.

  3. Dani Avatar

    To add to the list:

    -Make a reservation for 8 on a Friday night, then show up at 8:40. Cause a scene when you realize after waiting for a half hour and trying to call the number you left us, we gave away your table to the people waiting at the bar.

  4. Tere Avatar

    This post reminds me why – generally speaking – I hate people.

  5. Kim Ayres Avatar

    What about having doing drugs and having sex with an elderly relative in the restroom then splitting up with them over dessert…?

  6. Restaurant Gal Avatar
    Restaurant Gal

    Jali–Ah, dating horror stories that start in a restaurant….

    Julie–Really? You mean, you just go out to dinner, order, enjoy the meal, and tip your server? 😉

    Dani–Extremely unoriginal, indeed.

    Tere–Nah, you just can’t be bothered by unoriginal types. I hear you.


  7. Julie Avatar

    RG–Yes, we generally do. And we even tip well (20% is the minimum tip). We say thank you every time our beverages are refreshed, too. I know that we’re crazy. 😉

  8. savannah Avatar

    just proves there really is nothing new under the sun, sugar..although kim’s variation comes rather close! (thanks for the email!)

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