Restaurant Gal

Category: Guests

  • Vacation Rental

    When I was looking for a place to live here seven months ago, I saw “For Rent” signs all over the place–some in front of cute houses downtown, others advertising luxurious homes on the water. No problem finding a place, I figured, with so much property for rent. A hybrid, however, repeatedly got in my…

  • Cut Me Off

    When you work at a local bar, you have to find your own local bar in which to decompress and let it all drift away. The first place I thought was such a place ended up being anything but after the owner fired everyone who knew me as a local. So goes life in the…

  • Dancing the Circle

    “Joe died. Just an hour ago,” said one of my regulars as he placed an empty Miller Lite bottle on the bar. “I wasn’t sure if you’d heard.” Joe? Joe who always called me “pretty lady”? Whiskey and water, “Mist is fine” Joe? Joe who came in to my bar with his pal and sort-of…

  • The Bar Raised Between Us

    She always compliments what I am wearing. She is from D.C. She always says she and I could be friends, and we should have a drink together sometime. Except we are not friends. We likely never will be. A vodka tonic with extra lime will always be between us–the one I make, the one another…

  • It’s a Keys Thing

    I had only been open a few minutes when they walked in: a police officer, one of my regulars, and a friend of the regular. “Good morning!” the officer said, broadly smiling. “Hey, morning to you,” I said. “You working a new beat, now?” I was surprised to see him in my bar. This particular…

  • Local Discount

    Under its original owner, my previous restaurant gave a local discount to those customers who patronized the place on a regular basis. No one asked for the discount, because if they did, and those who had worked there the longest didn’t know them, the answer was, “Sorry.” Under the new ownership, my previous restaurant gives…

  • Eggs Over Done

    “The money is good there,” said Upset Waitress a few weeks ago as we sat smoking cigarettes on my front porch. “As long as it’s good, use it. When the money stops being good, leave.” “Yeah,” I nodded. “But every day the new owners change something major, then the idiot manager doesn’t tell us, then…

  • How Stupid Can You Be?

    “The orange juice in a mimosa is not considered a serving of fruit! You need to eat something!” said my girlfriend with whom I was drinking what was supposed to be my first meal in two days. “I have some soup I just made, no gluten at all in it,” said the cook from behind…

  • When You Wake Up in the Morning

    “Can I have some of your fries?” she slurred, then reached over me and grabbed a handful of French fries off the plate of steak and potatoes that Upset Waitress and I were sharing. We were starving. We were tired from work. We were drinking. We decided to order a big fat steak to make…

  • You Know How I Like It

    “Rum and diet, splash of cran, tall, lighter on the cran, no ice. But you know that, RG.” And I do, even though I toss in a few ice cubes because I know she likes just a few. “Try this, I love the bouquet. I think you will, too,” says the manager to the girls…